It’s the day you probably thought would never come around for you, and here it is, your getting divorced. It’s not always easing to hear when you are in the process of how to get divorced, but you will get through it. You will move on and the feelings you are having now will subside and eventually disappear as you move on to a new life. Everyone copes with divorce differently and while some can be settled amicably, others are straight warfare. You’re priority is to your happiness and wellbeing and there are a few things you can do that will help you on this journey.
Take time to yourself and do some soul searching. What is going to make you happy after this divorce is over? Where do you want your life to be? By making lists and honestly writing down your feelings, emotions and your future goals they can be easily identified when you need reminding about why you are doing this and where your life is heading. Without these clear directions it is too easy to fall into negative emotional patterns and behaviors. Remember to trust your judgments and believe in yourself. Believe in your ability to provide yourself with a better life.
Talk to your doctor. Times of divorce can play havoc on your body. The stress, worry and other emotions can take their toll. Your doctor will be able to make sure you are physically equipped to handle the situation to the best of your ability. They will also be able to recommend appropriate therapists or counselors that can provide valuable advice and treatment to working through your divorce. No emotion is too insignificant to discuss with them, especially at this time. They can give you the tools you need to move on successfully.
If there are children involved in the divorce make sure you are attending to their emotions as much as you are yours. As hard as getting divorced is for you, it is sometimes harder for them. They have a lesser understanding of relationships and their complications and having their family split up can be simply devastating. Talk to them openly and honestly and most importantly, talk often. Let them know they are loved dearly and that this is nothing to do with them or their behavior. Speak to their school teachers about their behavior at school. If you are not able to communicate with them at this time ask close friends or family to help you. Alternatively seek professional advice and perhaps see if counseling will help them to understand what is going on. Child counselors are trained in communicating with children during these hard times so don’t feel put out if they are able to get through where you couldn’t.
If you are getting divorced you’ll need legal representation. This takes the stress of a lot of the legal complications off you and leaves it to the experts. If possible get a recommendation from a trusted friend or family member for the best divorce lawyer who could give you good divorce advice. Be open and honest with them about what you want and your priorities in the divorce. If there are children involved speak with your lawyer immediately about child custody issues and anything relating to the children. If these issues are not sorted out quickly and carefully then you risk putting unnecessary stress and pain on the children. Even if you are able to come up with a suitable private arrangement ask your lawyer to put it into writing for you both to sign avoiding any possible complications or disputes later.
Although it may feel like it, getting divorced is not the end of the world. If you want it to be it can be the start of a happier new life.